If Bowser Ran Nintendo
by Stardown
Summary: The central Mario cast receive the news that Reggie Fils-Aimé is stepping down and being replaced by one Bowser. A certain Koopa king takes the news a little too personally.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** You've all probably heard the news that Nintendo's COO Reggie Fils-Aimé is retiring. Here's how the Mario characters are taking the news.

_Disclaimer: All Mario characters belong to Nintendo. Real-world people such as Reggie and Shigeru Miyamoto will be mentioned but will not actually appear as per the Fanfiction rules._

Without further ado, let us begin...

* * *

Needless to say, it was another beautiful day in the Mushroom Kingdom. For once, they were no princess-kidnapping calls to respond to.

"Mail call!"

For years, Mario knew that these words could bring an immediate change to his day. Today, however, would be no different. Mario ran out to the mailbox and opened a letter from...

"Rosalina?" Mario mused.

_"Dear Mario,_

_It is with great regret that our real-world COO Reggie Fils-Aimé has announced his retirement. He will be replaced by a Mr. Bowser (I did not quite catch his first name.) He will do us proud._

_May the stars shine down on you..._

_Rosalina"_

"...So Bowser plans to become the COO of Nintendo, eh?" Mario said. "I think he's just crossed the line. I need to stop him."

* * *

Little did Mario know that Bowser had received the same letter.

"They _what?!_" Bowser exclaimed in his excitement.

"What does Nintendo request of you, Your Unruliness?" asked Kamek.

Bowser stood up and leaped around the room, something he never usually did. "They want me to replace Reggie!"

"Now, Lord Bowser, I don't think-"

"Don't care! Gotta go!" Bowser ran up to his room to prepare for his departure.

Kamek sighed. Once you told Bowser good news, there was absolutely no stopping him...

Just then Bowser Jr. entered the room. "What's going on, Kamek?" he asked.

Kamek responded by handing him the letter they had received. Am moment later, Bowser Jr. became excited.

"You know what this means, Kamek?" he exclaimed. "We get the ultimate chance to defeat Mario! Just think of all the possibilities!"

"I am," Kamek responded, "and it's not pretty."

Bowser returned in his Odyssey wedding tux. "Sorry I took so long; I had a difficult time choosing between this outfit and my Super Paper Mario wedding outfit."

"Actually, Your Hastiness, you were rather quick."

"Well that's good," Bowser combed his hair while throwing other things onto a suitcase. "You know me; I never want to be late. Son, get my Clown Copter ready!"

"Yes, Dad!"

As Bowser Jr. ran off, Kamek turned to Bowser.

"Aren't you overreacting a little bit, Lord Bowser?" he asked, concerned.

"Overreacting? Not at all! This is the height of my career! In fact, for all I care, I'll be getting a new career! The Koopa Kingdom will be greater than ever!"

"So... when do you depart?"

"ASAP!" he called behind him as he ran out the door. Kamek facepalmed. Things were about to be _very_ wrong...

* * *

**A/N:** And there's the first chapter! When I heard that Doug Bowser is replacing the Regginator as Nintendo's COO, I saw the last name and knew I had to write a fanfiction. Now I've seen art about this coincidence, but I think I'm the first to write a fanfiction about it.

Until next time, everybody, do the Mario!


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** I forgot to mention last chapter, but this story's title is based on the SMG4 video's title "If Mario Ran Nintendo", a personal favorite of mine, up there with "If Mario Was In... Baldi's Basics". And I'm not even a regular SMG4 watcher!

I've got a cover image now! In case you were wondering, it was obtained from the Doug Bowser page at KnowYourMeme. While I don't own it, it appears to be open-source. (Still looking for cover images for Chaos on Earth and Logical Mario, though... And I need an avatar.)

I may want to change the story's type from Humor to Adventure. It's becoming more adventuresome than I had anticipated. Originally it was going to me a more nonsensical, neverending Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus-type story, but I'll probably end it after several chapters. Exactly when, I don't know yet.

Also, I didn't expect this story to get so many reviews right away. Let's get into them!

* * *

_**Guest**_

_Well this is an interesting concept! I was rather sad when I learned that Reggie is retiring, he was a great COO. It's actually a funny coincidence that the new guys name is Doug Bowser though._

_Anyway, I'll look forward to the next chapter!_

**We'll all miss Reggie. He popularized the "my body is ready" meme.**

**That coincidence is why I'm writing this story!**

_**kerrowe**_

_Short chapter. But interested to see if this continues._

**Oh, it's continuing! :D**

_**lalalei**_

_Oh boy, this is gonna be good XD Can't wait to hear how Peach takes the news!_

**You'll find out this chapter!**

* * *

Mario ran to Peach's Castle to tell her the news. He had no idea if anyone else had received a copy of the letter yet. If anyone did, he hoped Bowser wouldn't get any ideas.

How wrong he was...

At last, he saw the castle in front of him, the landmark of freedom for the Mushroom Kingdom. As the guards in front of the castle instantly recognized their hero, he was allowed in without a permit. There had been no danger of fake Marios lately, fortunately, so he didn't have to wait for long in order to see the princess. Minutes later, he was up in the throne room with the princess and Toadsworth.

"Did you get the letter too, Princess?" Mario asked.

"Why yes, I did," Peach responded. "I was just about to request an audience with you on the matter. Frankly, I'm concerned that Bowser will take this the wrong way."

"That's my concern exactly," Mario said. "Have you thought of a way to prevent Bowser from heading to the Real World and wreaking havoc on our universe?"

Peach was silent. "Actually, I was hoping you would have thought of something already."

"You didn't think of anything either?"

"No, sorry," she tried to smile, even though the situation was indeed grim.

"Master Mario, might I suggest staking out the Real World pipe?" piped up Toadsworth.

"We _could_ try that, but time is really of the essence here. We're dealing with a highly motivated Bowser who's out to change our world. Yes, we should do that. But I feel that I need to go in there after Bowser."

"Very well..." Toadsworth said. "What is your opinion, Princess?"

Peach nodded. "I'm on board with the plan. Let's arrange a few guards and keep Bowser from breaching reality."

* * *

But the good guys didn't know just how pressed for time they were. Bowser had already hopped into his waiting Clown Copter and had taken off.

"Off to Nintendo!" he yelled gleefully to no one in particular.

Bowser knew he was _this_ close to actually running Nintendo and making his own games. He could make Mario do whatever he wanted him to do. He thought about a game that played just like the original Super Mario Bros, except the zipper was stuck on Mario's chicken costume and he was given Captain Toad physics. He thought of another in which Mario had no idea that Peach and Bowser had switched roles.

At last the Real World pipe was in sight - and no one was guarding it. The Mushroom Kingdom really should have put up security here... but it was too late for that. Bowser was already flying into the pipe which lead to his destination: Nintendo of America.

* * *

**A/N:** Another chapter done! Like I said, I don't know how many chapters this will be, but let's just say Bowser _will_ cause a little havoc before the day is done. Until next time, everybody, do the Bowser!

...Wait, that doesn't sound right...


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** WOW this story is really gaining steam. As of now, it has 317 hits, 6 favorites, 4 follows, and 8 reviews! And it only had two chapters until today. This is the biggest start any of my stories has ever had. Thanks, you guys!

Part of Triple Feature Night! March 9, 2019

Anyway, here's the next chapter and reviews!

* * *

_**lalalei**_

_Oooh, the Real World! Reminds me of the DiC Mario cartoons. I wonder what havoc Bowser will wreak XD (Maybe you could change the story genre to Humor/Adventure?)_

**I included the Real World pipe because how else can Bowser get to the Nintendo headquarters? ;) And yes, I've changed the genre. Thanks rfor recommending this.**

_**C. Mechayoshi**_

_I love this idea. (Also when I followed the first chapter, I didn't even realize you were the author of Logical Mario, ha. Awesome )_

**I also write Super Mario Bros: The Novelized Comic and Chaos on Earth: A Sonic X Rewrite if you're looking for even better stories. Not that this isn't good, but still. :)**

_**kerrowe**_

_*Does the Bowser, Throws punches, tucks into shell and breathes fire*_

_I guess this will be the normal chapter length huh? Still I'm intereated enough._

**"Swing your tail, from side to side, come on, it's time to go do the Bowser..."**

**And yeah, it's short, I know, but it seems most effective for now. Maybe a couple future chapters will be longer.**

_**Guest**_

_Well, now we know that Bowser's game idea's are definitely...creative. I wonder what type of havoc Bowser will cause!_

_Anyway, I'll look forward to the next chapter!_

**Definitely creative. And that's just the beginning.**

_**7King Bowser7**_

_Bowser running Nintendo would be such of a disaster, I'd love to see what he'd do if he controlled all the characters' lives. Love him in this story._

**Thanks! And he'll definitely be making quite an impact on Mario's world as he knows it, if he manages to succeed in taking Reggie's spot.**

* * *

Flanked by several Toad guards, Mario, Peach, and Toadsworth ran out of the castle as fast as their legs could carry them. The kingdom - no, the entire world depended on them right now. They needed to stop Bowser before he could access Nintendo and wreak havoc on all they have ever known.

There was one Toad who was not far from the Real World pipe. Upon seeing the princess he ran up to her and her party.

"Princess! Bowser just flew through that pipe!" he exclaimed.

"He beat us to it," Mario realized. To Peach, he asked, "Do we follow him?"

"Yes," she answered without hesitation. But before they could advance toward the pipe, Toadsworth caught sight of Kamek approaching them.

"State your business," addressed Peach.

Kamek was not moved. "Did you by chance see King Bowser fly through this pipe?" he asked.

"Yes," Mario answered without hesitation. Peach glanced at him, while wondering if this was a trap.

"Because I warned him of the consequences of meddling with our real world associates," Kamek admitted. "I told him not to leave this planet, yet out of a complete misunderstanding, he leaves anyway."

Peach nodded. "It seems our goals align. We too are going after Bowser."

"Wait, does this mean..." Mario began.

"An alliance?" Kamek finished. "It would seem that way, though I cannot guarantee it will last. Now let us proceed to the Real World."

The others nodded. With Kamek leading the way, the party entered the Real World pipe. Hopefully Bowser would be stopped before he could cause any lasting damage...

* * *

Surprisingly it didn't take Bowser long to locate the Nintendo of America building. Smirking to himself, he landed in the parking lot, set his Clown Copter's security system on, and strolled through the doors of his destination.

The lady behind the front desk in the lobby almost gasped when she saw Bowser.

"Y-You're real!" she exclaimed.

"'Course I'm real," Bowser said. "What did you think I was, a video game character?"

"...Y-yes..." the lady said. "W-what brings you here?"

"You were asking me to replace Reggie."

"Um... No, sorry, we wanted _Doug_ Bowser to replace him. But you're not wrong, though."

"Then that means..."

Bowser immediately ran for the elevator before anyone could stop him. The doors closed with him inside, and the Koopa king breathed a sigh of relief.

He pressed the button for the top floor, where he knew the meeting room was. One step closer to ultimate domination of Mario's world...

* * *

**A/N:** And that's chapter three! Will the Nintendo employees recognize Bowser as their new president? Find out next time!


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** I hope you enjoyed the three-story update the other day! Consider it an early Mar10 Day gift.

Review time!

* * *

_**kerrowe**_

_Hahaha. Well that got a small laugh from me at the end._

_**Only **_**a small one? Have I failed as a writer?**

**Never mind, I aim to please. ;)**

_**Guest**_

_An alliance with Kamek? I guess he knows how terrible it will be if Bowser takes control of nintendo._

_Anyway, I'll look forward to the next chapter!_

**Yup. It's gonna be bad.**

**Also, have you considered getting an account for yourself? Not only will it make it easier for me to see who you are among other guest readers, but you can also write your own stories if you think of any. Just a thought. ;)**

_**lalalei**_

_Uh oh XD This is hilarious and with higher stakes that I realized! I wonder if the Nintendo employees will recognize him or not._

**Most of them probably will, except for that one lone employee who only works with Star Fox.**

_**C. Mechayoshi**_

_Good thing Bowser actually fit in that elevator._

**But it comes at a cost, as you'll find out...**

* * *

It did not take long for Mario, Peach, Toadsworth, Kamek, and the Toads to emerge at the other side of the pipe. Mario took a moment to study his surroundings.

"Home sweet Brooklyn," he breathed.

"We took a wrong turn," Peach realized. "This isn't where Nintendo of America's location is."

"No, it isn't," seconded Kamek. "If I'm correct, it is located near Seattle in the state of Washington."

"Wait, how do _you_ know about the Real World?" Mario asked incredulously. "I've never seen you here before."

"I have my ways," the Magikoopa elder shrugged. "Besides, Bowser has supplied us with various maps of the Real World."

"...I see," Mario mused.

"Well, can't we just backtrack and take a pip that leads to Seattle?" Peach asked hopefully.

Kamek turned around, but no pipe was to be found. "It appears we can't retrace our steps. Therefore, we must fly there on our own."

"Fly?" Peach repeated.

"Of course," Kamek nodded as he waved his wand and summoned several spare broomsticks.

Mario counted the broomsticks as they hovered above the ground. "Good. There's enough for thirty-three of us," he checked.

"Let's get going," Peach said. "We don't have much time, if any at all."

Everyone climbed onto a broomstick, and they took off for Seattle.

As they flew over one of the cities, one kid pointed up. "Look, Mommy! Harry Potter is real!"

His mother looked up, but didn't see anything. Mario and the others were too fast for them. They had to be fast. The fate of the Mushroom Kingdom, and maybe the whole gaming industry, was in their hands. They had no time for product placement or cameos.

* * *

It was a wonder that Bowser was able to fit in the elevator. It was rising much slower than he wanted it to, and he could have sworn he could barely feel the lift at all.

Ten minutes later, Bowser _finally_ reached the top floor and wandered aimlessly around. People flocked from everywhere, fanboying/fangirling him and taking selfies. Bowser relished this moment, but knew he had to find the office.

Another three minutes found him in a meeting room with a long table.

"Wh-wha..." The head official in the room sputtered upon seeing Bowser. The rest of the people in the room were stunned speechless.

"I'm sorry, do I know you?" one employee confusedly asked. "I work in the Star Fox department, and I-"

"I'm the King of Koopas, you moron!" Bowser roared before regaining his composure and turning back to the others. "...So... I hear you nominated a new COO?" he verified.

The staff nodded.

"Does he have what it takes to represent Nintendo of America?"

The staff bobbleheaded.

"Is he good-looking?"

The staff hesitated for a second, but nodded.

"Does his name happen to be _Bowser_?"

The staff was silent.

"Uh, excuse me, Mr. Bowser, it seems that there's been a mistake. You're not the Bowser we-"

"-thought I'd be?" finished Bowser. "Thank you. This means I exceed your expectations."

"But-"

"No buts. Starting right now, I'm the new COO of Nintendo of America. If SMG4 or Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus is reading this right now, don't get any ideas."

"What are you-"

"Just the obligatory fourth wall break. See you next chapter!"

* * *

**A/N:** The _real_ adventure begins now! Now I'm sure Bowser is going to make a "Do the Bowser" game first. Oh wait, there was already an episode called "Do the Koopa". Does that count?


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** This might be a shorter chapter than usual, because it takes time to fly from Brooklyn to Seattle. So we'll just focus on Bowser for the next chapter or two, m'kay?

* * *

**_lalalei_**

_I love the contrast between what's going on with Mario's team and what's going on with Bowser. This story keeps making me smile!_

**Thanks! This chapter and maybe the next won't have Mario in it, as they're still on their way to Seattle.**

_**Guest**_

_Well, I have considered getting an account, so perhaps one day... If you'd like to recognize me more easily though, I could put my name as L, as I did in another story I reed. Anyway, This chapter was really funny as always! I was actually thinking about Harry Potter when I read the part about brooms, so that childs line was grea! And it seems that Bowser can't go long without breaking the fourth wall._

_Anyway, I'll look forward to the next chapter!_

**About the account, it's fine for now; I can easily recognize you by your last sentence.**

**Yup, it seems he can never go for long without having to use his fourth wall insurance. Neither can I, actually; I love fourth wall jokes.**

_**mariobroultimate**_

_I bet Bowser's gonna make a game where he kidnaps the princess and actually wins._

**Oh, that's just one of _many_ game ideas he has...**

_**Colorful and Free**_

_Maybe it's all a mix-up? Still, something tells me his first order of business is having Peach love him and Mario be the antagonist of the game. Something like that. Funny story so far._

**Definitely sounds like something Bowser would do. :) And yes, it does appear to be a mix-up. Glad you like!**

_**C. Mechayoshi**_

_Great chapter it's good Mario and co have their priorities straight because I know Bowser means trouble!_

**He means more trouble now than ever before! Will they make it in time?!**

* * *

"As your new COO, I have proposed quite a few new game ideas for the Mario series," announced Bowser as he paced the floor of the conference room.

"I'm sorry, sir, but we can't allow this," the head guy said. "We will need to run these by-"

"-my brilliant head, yes. And I approve. I know, Mr. Miyamoto did a great job with Mario, but I have a feeling we are... misrepresented."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you keep making Mario the good guy and me the bad guy."

"So? That was Mr. Miyamoto's vision."

"Yeah, but it's not _my_ vision. I'm just a king trying to get by with a family and an army in a land filled with lava. All I ever wanted to do was move to a better place! And here Mario keeps dumping me into lava and punishing me for wanting to move. And he won't even let me near the love of my life!"

"Because you keep kidnapping her, you idiot."

"Only because you programmed me to!" Bowser retorted. "Listen, I want a good life for once, and I know that longtime Mario fans are getting tired of the same-old same-old. So I'm going to mix things up a bit."

"Like, how so?"

"First of all, I propose a new game with me as the main protagonist. I know longtime Mario fans want me to have my own game."

"You're not satisfied with the new sidequests in the Mario and Luigi remakes?"

"No, unless Partners in Time also gets a remake. Why did you skip it?! I almost had a second castle!"

"May I also remind you it had the worst final boss ever. Not to mention Elder Princess Shroob made people ragequit back in the day. No way are we inflicting that torture on today's kids."

"But at least let me have my own game!" pleaded Bowser, dramatically kneeling and folding his hands.

"...Fine, what do you have in mind...?" the head staff guy asked.

* * *

_**Fifteen minutes later...**_

"...So let me get this straight," summarized the head guy. "You want a game in which you're the hero, and Mario's the bad guy who kidnapped the princess from you. Gameplay involves burning Toads and plants, and recruiting armies for your conquest of the Mushroom Kingdom. Am I right?"

Bowser nodded. "Exactly."

"That's so Forge of Empires with a side of World of Warcraft. And you're aiming this at E10+?"

"EC if I can. I want _everybody_ to play it!"

"Okay, a few things are wrong with that statement. One: we don't market EC games. Two: This isn't a toddler's game. What you described is rated T at the very least. If we can modify it, _maybe_ it cam be pushed to E10+."

"No. Absolutely not. We are not going to be lax about my game. It's gonna scream Bowser, and it's gonna score big on IGN and Polygon. Are you with me?!"

Silence.

"I said, ARE YOU WITH ME?!"

"I'm sorry, sir, I can't-"

Bowser roared, spewing fore across the room. The automatic sprinklers turned on, dousing the flames.

"...Okay, we get your drift," the head guy said after a moment. "Are you ready to help write out a list of features for your game?"

* * *

**A/N:** I'm probably not going to have any more post-chapter author notes, as there really isn't much to say here except do the Bowser!


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** Sorry it took so long to get this chapter out; I've been lazy, as well as too focused on Chaos on Earth. This next chapter is more serious than previous chapters, and this is where it starts to heat up.

Review time!

* * *

**_lalalei_**

_I would totally play a Bowser game XD I love that he tried to rate it EC!_

**Bowser isn't the only character who needs his own game. What about Daisy, Rosalina, Birdo, or... dare I say it... Waluigi? You know, I think _Waluigi's Taco Stand_ would make for a catchy game title...**

**_TrimusicaDrag00n90_**

_that sound like a fun game_

**I know, right? Perhaps anything Bowser-related can make for a great game. Only thing is, the whole Giant Bowser thing is getting old, especially as a final boss.**

_**L**_

_Okay, so from now on I'll just put my name as L. Anyway, Bowser's game ideas aren't very good. His new game is Definitely T. Also, why is Partners in time the worst Bos battle ever? I haven't reached the end yet, so I don't know?_

_Anyway, I'll look forward to the next chapter!_

**T at the very least. :P**

**SPOILERS BELOW:**

**Also, technically, Shrowser is the final boss, even though the real final boss is Elder Princess Shroob. Shrowser is basically just a dodging game, and if you dodge the flames Bowser breathes at you, they do damage to the ghost of EPS instead. EPS is one of the toughest bosses of any Mario game, and even I have yet to beat her.**

_**kerrowe**_

_Well I certainly hope a few of his games are made before someone comes to try and stop him._

_As a side note if his army acts as security bet that'd get seen as "Mascots and such."_

**That'll only happen if negotiations are made. :P**

**And yeah, his army will probably act as security in a building that already has security. The mascots part is inevitable.**

_**C. Mechayoshi**_

_Let's get real, Bowser's game would be a hit!_

**Definitely. 9/10 on IGN, 4 out of 5 stars on Polygon, movie spinoff, multiple merchandise lines - I can see it.**

* * *

It may have taken them about two hours, but Mario, Peach, Toadsworth, Kamek, and the Toad soldiers finally flew into Seattle. Mario had to admit, he did not care for broomstick travel that much.

"I know where to find the Nintendo of America headquarters," Mario spoke.

"As do I, Mario," Kamek replied, "but we must be stealthy about our approach. If Bowser were to see us prematurely, things could become disastrous."

"I'm aware of this," Mario solemnly nodded.

"Do you have a strategy to get in there undetected?" asked Peach.

"Undetected, no, but I can still get us in there," Kamek answered. "If I am correct, the conference room is on the top floor."

"Wait, how exactly do you know this, Master Kamek?" quizzed Toadsworth.

"King Bowser has told me of the layout of the Nintendo of America during one of his prior excursions to the Real World."

"Why would he do that?" Peach wondered.

Kamek paused for a moment. "He has expressed his desire to take over Nintendo once before."

"Are you serious?" Toadsworth almost exclaimed.

"To think that video game characters can become sentient..." mused Mario. "To think that Bowser has the opportunity to raid Nintendo ever since he set foot in the Real World..."

"Then he must be a bigger threat than we realized..." added Peach in thoughtfulness. "This means I must set up measures to prevent the wrong people from ever using the Real World pipe."

"Do as you wish, but this will not stop Lord Bowser from trying to breach this dimension," Kamek responded. "Now remain here. I must check to see that we can get in undetected."

"But didn't you say that we couldn't-"

But Kamek was already flying down toward the building. Mario and the others watched as he carefully probed the windows, looking for a way in. They remained mostly silent as Kamek went about his work, thinking about just how much damage Bowser could cause to their world if left to his scheme.

Three minutes later, Kamek returned.

"I have found an entry point," he reported. "Quickly and quietly, follow me."

The party of thirty-four flew over to a certain window in the building. The lights were off inside the room it led to.

"Now we enter. Everyone must remain absolutely silent," he cautioned. Using his wand, he gently shattered the glass inward and placed the broken fragments in a corner of the room. They flew through the window and into the large room. It wasn't exactly large enough to hold thirty-four individuals, though, so it was quite crowded.

"Anyone got a light?" Mario asked, as the room was still dark, even with the outside light shining in.

"While my wand can generate light, I cannot risk giving us away or wasting its power. Now brace yourselves; this is a do-or-die mission."

* * *

Over the past two hours, Bowser had laid out the plans for his game. It would be the most perfect Mario title out there.

Actually, it wouldn't even be a _Mario_ title. This time, it would be the first-ever Bowser title.

"_Bowser Chronicle_... There couldn't be a better name..." Bowser sighed.

Despite his relaxed state, he loomed over the development team as they fearfully came up with code for the game. He smiled, knowing that this game would be perfect.

Just then security came into the room. This was an unexpected setback for Bowser.

"Freeze, Bowser! We have you surrounded!"

"On the contrary!" roared Bowser as three Amazing Flying Hammer Brothers crashed through the large window pane. "_You_ are the one who's surrounded!"

Hammers flew, forcing the guards from the room. The staff in the room had to duck.

"And that's why you don't mess with the Koopa King!" Bowser laughed as the AFHBs gathered their hammers.

"This is slavery. You know this, right?" said the head staff member, whose name was Jeff.

"Of course!" smirked Bowser. "You're the one to blame for giving me this sweet personality!"

"King Bowser," one of the AFHBs spoke, "you will want to be informed that we have spotted Mario approaching the building."

"WHAT?!" Bowser roared, nearly spewing fire across the room again.

"And with him are the princess, Toadsworth, Kamek, and about thirty Toad soldiers."

Bowser took a moment to consider his choices.

"Summon more minions I brought with me. Find and take care of those drain brains."

"Yes, Your Bossiness."

"Oh, and did you say _Kamek_ is among them?"

"Yes, Your Inquisitiveness."

"Bring him here. I want to have a talk with him."

"As you wish, Your Rashness."

As the AFHBs left the room and other minions flew through through the window to take their place in the room or combat Mario, Bowser knew that, despite all the setbacks, things would go according to plan.

* * *

**A/N:** This story is written on the fly, and I predict that there are probably three more chapters left until the end of the story (already).

Until next time, everybody, do the Koopa!


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** I knw it's been quite a while since my last update, but as I've mentioned before, I'm hooked on Sonics. Still, I plan to finish this story, which has another one or two chapters to go. Once I finish, it's back to work on SMB:TNC!

I'm hyped for Super Mario Maker 2! Now I _really_ want to get a Switch.

On to reviews!

* * *

**_Guest_**

_A showdown right in the NoA building? Some things never change between Mario and Bowser._

**They should have had this in the Super Mario Bros. Super Show, or, even better, someone should make the NoA building as a custom Smash stage.**

**_mariobroultimate_**

_I like how you included the Amazing Flying Hammer Brothers. I hope they're in Super Mario Maker 2!_

**Even if they don't appear, they need more love. They're dangerous enemies who need a second look.**

_**L**_

_You know, a Bowser game wood be fun, as long as it's not as violent as he wants. Thank you for explaining the final bosses of Partners In Time to me. I think the hero's should have known they wood have been caught, because there's 34 of them! And now they have to fight the AFHB!_

_Anyway, I'll look forward to the next chapter!_

**While a Bowser game is overdue, I think we should have a Waluigi game first. He's become a meme ever since his omission from Smash. Plus, Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus is helping to boost his popularity.**

**Will Team Mario be able to defeat the AFHBs? Or will this story end in an anticlimactic manner. Find out this chapter!**

_**.16**_

_DO the Mario, I remember that_

**Iconic, isn't it?**

* * *

Kamek cautiously opened the door and peered down the halls. They were strangely void of people.

"Perhaps they have deployed security to thwart Lord Bowser's efforts," speculated Kamek.

"But there aren't even so much as employees around here?" Peach questioned.

"Security reasons," guessed Mario. "Bowser is dangerous, and they probably don't want anyone getting hurt." Peach nodded.

"I too am inclined to agree," seconded Kamek. "Now are we going to loiter about all day, or are we going to prevent King Bowser from ruining our franchise?"

"_My_ franchise," Mario corrected. Kamek rolled his eyes. Mario may have been one of his worst enemies, but he could be narcissistic sometimes.

The Magikoopa advanced through the doorway and signaled his group to follow him. They soon were creeping down the hallway.

"Are you sure you even know where Bowser's room is?" Peach asked. "I mean, we've never been in this building before, and-"

"Absolute. Silence. Please," Kamek instructed. Peach nodded. It was best to not be caught in an environment like this, especially where the employees know who you are.

They moved through the halls for several minutes, none of them speaking. Mario wondered just how big this building was.

Just then several security officers ran up to them. Kamek raised his wand to blast them, but Mario held up his hand.

"Let me deal with this," he instructed. As he approached the guards, they stared incredulously at him.

"You _are_ the real Super Mario, aren't you," a guard stated in awe.

Mario nodded. "Yes I am. I hate to cut your fanboying time short, but can you guys point the way to the conference room?"

The guard nodded. "Follow us."

Mario started following the officers toward the conference room. But they had only taken a few steps when-

"For the Koopa Kingdom!" shouted several individuals. Suddenly three Amazing Flying Hammer Brothers flew into view about thirty feet ahead of them.

"Peach, Toad army, let's-a go!"

Kamek shrugged. "Oh, Mario, you were always the headstrong one..."

The guards couldn't really do anything. Not only were the hammer throwing thick, but they were hesitant to shoot something that came from Mr. Miyamoto's mind. Fortunately the Toad army was there to deflect some of the thickest hammer barrage with their mushroom shields..

Kamek began summoning a magic blast. Why did King Bowser have to jeopardize their entire franchise? Now Kamek had to waste his wand's energy on just a couple minions of his. Besides, Kamek considered AFHBs obsolete.

Now that the blast was fully charged, he let it fly toward the three minions.

"I hate to do this, King Bowser, but I must..." he thought.

The magic blast turned the three minions into coins which Mario quickly pocketed. He turned to Kamek with a scowl.

"I nearly had them!" he fumed.

"Well, excuuuse me for saving your life!" retorted Kamek in a surprisingly out-of-character manner.

"But you interrupted my jump!" Mario argued.

"Master Mario, please," chided Toadsworth.

"This is no time for petty arguments," added Peach. "If we want to stop Bowser, then cooperation is key."

"I'm never working with you!" Mario and Kamek told each other at the same time.

Just then Peach had a look of fresh determination. "Well fine then! I think I'll go stop Bowser myself!" she declared before walking down the hallway, leaving the rest of the group dumbfounded.

"Something tells me we shouldn't interfere..." one of the guards told another.

"Yeah, we should let these guys take care of this," the other replied.

"P-Princess, wait!" Mario called before running after her.

"I knew Master Mario would make the right decision," Toadsworth said.

Mario caught up to Peach, who glanced at him. "You already learned teamwork in fifteen seconds?" she asked.

"Not now, Princess," chided Mario. "The office should be just up ahead. We should act while we have the element of surprise."

"I agree," Kamek nodded, having caught up the others just then.

The group paused to allow Toadsworth and the Toad army to catch up as well.

"Are you ready for this?" Mario asked.

"More than ready," Peach answered.

"...Yes, I am," Kamek said after a moment's hesitation.

"Kamek...?" Peach noticed Kamek's reluctance.

"I could risk my whole career interfering in King Bowser's plan," Kamek realized. "I could be fired... or worse..."

"I know," Mario said. "But this is for the fate of our franchise. There's no backing out now."

"I suppose not," Kamek said. He raised his wand to the door, his goggles gleaming as magic shapes began to materialize on the tip of his wand. "For the fate of our franchise."

* * *

**A/N:** Showtime! Only one or two more chapters left until our adventure concludes! Like I said earlier, I don't have a backlog for this; I'm writing it on the fly.

But anyway, until next time, do the Koopa, because he's already forbidden doing the Mario!


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:** All right, here we are at last: the final chapter of If Bowser Ran Nintendo! How will this one wrap up? Well, let's find out, shall we?

...After reviews, of course.

* * *

_**lalalei**_

_This is gonna be epic! Maybe to save face Kamek could pretend afterwards that he captured the Mario crew XD_

**Now that _would_ be an interesting idea, would it? Well, we'll just have to wait and see what happens!**

_**kerrowe**_

_Ah so they just arrived. I wonder if Bowser managed to at least do something with the company first._

**He is President Bowser after all. He always has a backup plan.**

_**L**_

_I also really want a Switch for Mario Maker 2! And your right, Waluigi needs a game to himself. So the final battle aproaches, to decide the fate of the franchise!_

_Anyway, I'll look forward to the next chapter!_

**If DDR: Mario Mix was Waluigi's biggest role, then he leads a sad life. He needs more support!**

**Anyway, who will win this battle? Bowser may have the power of Nintendo on his side, but Mario practically _is_ Nintendo.**

_**mariobroultimate**_

_Thanks for responding to my last comment. I can see why Mario and Kamek don't want to work together. Kamek has always been very annoying to Mario, especially in the beginning of Galaxy when he sent Mario flying. Speaking of Kamek, he should tell Nintendo to put him in the next Mario Kart! He's overdue!_

**Definitely! And to think he could have appeared in Mario Kart 64... Too bad a certain anti-Mario replaced him... Wait a minute, the player's guide said Wario stole the Koopa's kart, so... Ah, my mind is racked...**

* * *

Bowser was beaming. His new game _Bowser Chronicle _was nearly complete. But just how did he make so much progress on his game in such a short time?

"Much can be achieved under slave labor," Bowser said. "You lot have nearly finished my perfect game that will reform the Mario universe as you know it!"

"And without so much as a betatester..." moaned the exhausted executive who was probably covered in littered drafts.

"What are you talking about?" Bowser asked, turning to him. "I did all the betatesting myself, and it's _perfect_!"

The executive stood up. "Look, if you can somehow exist in this plane of reality, then Mario can as well. He can and _will_ stop you."

Bowser shook his head. "Didn't you _just_ hear me send my AFHBs after Mario like four minutes ago?!" he roared. "I guess overworking you can exhaust you. That's one of the only drawbacks of having underlings."

"Just face it, Bowser. That game of yours will never sell. Sure, some people want Bowser to have their own game, but-"

"But?!" Bowser exclaimed. "My game is _perfect_! It brings back old, forgotten characters like the Koopa Kids, Smithy, and even Waluigi as bribery. It has a unique Final Fantasy-style gameplay! Plus, with the right cheat codes, you can even make me go Super Saiyan! So you're sadly mistaken if you say it will never sell."

"Super Saiyan?" the executive repeated. "Now you're ripping off Dragon Ball?"

"Please, everyone loves Dragon Ball!"

"You clearly don't understand copyright infringement," the employee retorted. "Besides, why are you holding all of us hostage to make a game of your imagination?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Bowser spread his arms out. "You called for Bowser to replace Mr. Reggie, so here I am!"

"Sir, there's been a misunderstanding," the executive tried to reason. "We wanted _Doug_ Bowser to replace Reggie. I don't know how you even got to our universe, but-"

"I know that, and I don't care!" exclaimed Bowser. "Now that I'm here, I am going to reshape the Mario universe as everyone knows it!"

Suddenly the door broke down and disintegrated into ashes on the ground. Bowser stood agape as he saw who was in the doorway.

"Surrender, Bowser!" ordered Mario.

"I do support you in most of your schemes, but this time you've gone too far!" Kamek added.

"It was inevitable!" roared Bowser. "They practically _called_ for me!"

"No they didn't!" retorted Peach. "It was all a misunderstanding. Now apologize and come back with us to the Mushroom Kingdom."

"Me? Apologize?" Bowser laughed. "Well, I'm sorry I didn't defeat you sooner. Minions, attack!"

The various Paratroopas, Boos, and other aerial enemies launched their attack on Mario and friends. Mario kicked a Paratroopa into its shell, then threw it at the other Paratroopas.

"You could have used those to take out the Boos," Kamek chided.

"Only Super Stars can defeat Boos," Mario corrected.

"Do I have to do _everything?_" the elder Magikoopa complained as he summoned several magic blasts to easily eliminate the Boos. They faded into nothingness upon contact with the arcane shapes.

"You know you can't defeat me that easily!" Bowser shouted. "And since you betrayed me, I'm going to have you banished to the Minus World! Then afterward, I'm going to implement the code that will remove you from your universe... forever!"

"That's impossible," Mario confidently countered. "There are far too many games for you to do that in one move."

"True, but I can still at least wipe out your future!"

Kamek approached Bowser. "I hope this isn't too big to ask, but... During your remaining minutes as president of Nintendo of America, could you re-release Mario Kart 64 with me as a playable character, so I don't feel cheated anymore?"

"Yes, that was already on my bucket list," Bowser responded. "It's not first priority, but it'll get done."

"Are you going to come quietly with us?" Mario proposed. "Or do I have to use force?"

"Force?" guffawed Bowser. "Who do you think you're kidding? There's no lava here to dump me in, the ceiling's too low for you to jump on me, and you're too much of a goody-two-shoes to throw me out the window. There's no way you can defeat me!"

"Oh, but there is," Mario stated with confidence. He turned his cap inside out, revealing that it was Cappy all along.

"You're breaking the laws of physics!" panicked Bowser once he saw the Bonneter atop Mario's head. "That's illogical!"

"Master Bowser, you're mixing up your fanfictions," corrected Toadsworth.

"And you, fungus! You and that so-called army haven't done a _thing_ in this whole story! You're just a bunch of lazy Mary Sues the author decided to throw into this story to make your team look bigger!"

"They're not Mary Sues," Mario stated as he removed Cappy from his head and got into a stance to throw it. "They're my friends."

Before Bowser could react, Mario threw Cappy at Bowser, allowing the plumber to control his long-time adversary. Peach nodded her approval.

"For the record," she added, "A Mary Sue is a poorly-conceived OC, usually a self-insert, who has a love relationship with a canon character and/or has cool superpowers. Toadsworth is not a Mary Sue. He is a canon character."

To the employees, she said, "Our work here is done. Bowser's so-called game may be destroyed or archived, depending on your next COO's choices, but it must never be released to the public."

"Understood," the executive replied. "And thank you all for saving the future of Nintendo."

"Our pleasure," Peach responded before the group left the room. The remaining minions shrugged.

"And to think Luigi hasn't shown up once in this story..." one Paratroopa said to another as they flew out the window. The developers looked at one another.

"That princess is awesome," one of them said.

"Maybe we should give her another game," another developer proposed. The rest agreed.

The executive picked up the concept box art for _Bowser Chronicle_ and tossed it into the trash can, along with plans for other games such as _Bowser's Inside Story Minus Mario & Luigi; Hotel Mario 2: Hotel Bowser; Harkinian: The Wand of Evil; Impa: The Faces of Gamelon; Bowser vs. Thanos; and Bowser Teaches Typing and Other Boring Stuff_. There was also scrapped ideas for a Bowser-themed Fortnite server and a game called _Bowser Teaches Housekeeping._ But in any case, both the Mushroom Kingdom and the future of Nintendo were secure thanks to the real hero: Princess Peach.

* * *

**A/N:** That concludes If Bowser Ran Nintendo! I hope you all enjoyed this story! Also, a big good luck to our new COO Doug Bowser, as well as hopes that Bowser will get his own game for real!

If you liked this story, you may also enjoy some of my other works, such as **Super Mario Bros: The Novelized Comic**, **Logical Mario**, and **Chaos on Earth: A Sonic X Rewrite!**

Stardown out!


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